Rules of Belonging - the unwritten code

When a group comes together we are very adept at figuring out what we need to do to belong.  How do people behave in the group, what’s accepted and what language do they use? This desire for social connection is hardwired into us, it is part of our DNA make-up. When we don’t feel we belong we feel isolated and this has a negative effect on us as individuals regarding our health and wellbeing but also our teams effectiveness.

In Australia 1 in 4 adults are lonely and when lonely Australians are 15.2% more likely to be depressed and 13.1% more likely to experience social interactions anxiety (Australian Loneliness report 2018) we can appreciate the impact of individuals being isolated. With new dispersed teams there has been an increase in employees reporting feelings of isolation and this will continue to be a challenge for teams into the future as new flexible work arrangements become the norm.  

Being intentional about our values, behaviours and the way we interact with each other will help us achieve a culture where we feel that we can be ourselves but also where our uniqueness is welcomed and accepted. We must plan our garden, ensuring the pathways are in place, the soil and water systems are correct for our plants before we plant each unique plant, this will ensure it flourishes just like team cultures.

Neuroscience research tells us that endorphins play a strong role in a person's social predisposition, to being friendly and helpful, and dopamine is linked to how well a person connects to his or her social network, these neuropeptides "endorphins and dopamine work in tandem with each other," Neuroscientist Dunbar said.

Before the start of any workshop I do a session called the rules of belonging where we agree what’s important to a group and everyone agrees to sign up to these behaviours. This creates psychological safety and allows group members to feel able to express themselves and communicate freely.

Rules of Belonging allow us to communicate freely.

As Aristotle said

“Man is by nature a social animal.”